Buck Beard

n. Facial hair growth begun the first day of deer hunting season and not shaved until buck is taken. Supposedly brings good luck to hunter. Known to bring back luck to spouse of said hunter in terms of scratches received during hugs and reduced levels of kissing. See also: playoff beard for NHL and MLB players

Country Boy can grow facial hair faster than anyone I know. Seriously.

He can have a 5 o’clock shadow at noon.

The good news for him is that his job doesn’t require him to shave everyday.

The bad news for me is that his job doesn’t even require him to shave every week.

They say that relationships are like an onion, with the different layers slowly peeled away until you get to the core of a person. Apparently, my Country Boy hadn’t revealed one of those layers until this year.

That lovely little surprise of a layer?

The Buck Beard tradition.

Now, honestly, I am not exactly certain that there IS a real tradition behind it. Are all men with facial hair on some quest or another? Is there a secret code for these things? Sideburns are for duck hunting. Moustaches are for bear. Soul Patches, well…maybe soul patches are for guys hunting for a date on New Years.

I don’t remember the Country Boy with a Buck Beard last year… 

He did get his elk bull in September 2010, so maybe that prevented the Buck Beard from forming.

We weren’t so lucky this year. I am blaming the Canadians. They started hockey, which started the whole playoff beard thing, which led to Buck Beards. Plus, it was a group of Canadian hunters who were in Colorado the same time as Country Boy and spooked the elk herd. (OK, I don’t really blame Canadians. I like Canada, I really do.  Plus, I can sing their national anthem better than our own.)

In the previous years I’ve known him, the Country Boy either got an elk or a deer apparently fast enough that I didn’t notice that the shaving pattern was abnormally out of whack.

This year, I noticed.

I should say that on the night I met the Country Boy, he was pretty scruffy. (He says that was his last major Buck Beard, but I don’t remember him looking THAT Grizzly Adams-ish.) I thought he was very handsomely rugged, so I am not opposed to some scruff. Plus, he shaved when I met him the next day for our first date so I really got to know him as the clean-faced cutie. 

It was when scruff created rug burns on my shoulders when hugging that I had to draw the line.

Let’s think of it this way, no woman says “I’m not going to shave until I find a pair of leather boots on sale for $10 (my attempt at making the City Girl equivalent of a 10 point buck).”

But, men don’t have that self-regulating voice when it comes to hair growth. Maybe they think they’re like the biblical Sampson – the longer the beard, the better the shot and the bigger the rack on the other side.

I certainly know that I felt like Delilah. There were many nights I wanted to pull out the shaver on my Sampson.

Even the girls got into teasing him about the Buck Beard. They had some Poweraid to drink one afternoon and had their own little purple mustaches as a result. When I told Zoe she needed to shave, her response was, “I’ll shave when Curtis shaves.”

How can I argue with that?

Two days later, with a purple mustache still on the face of at least one stubborn little girl, the Country Boy gave up his quest of the Buck Beard and shaved.

The hunting luck is apparently broken.

The deer of the area are celebrating.

The girls cheered the success of their resolve.

And me? I’m enjoying kissing my cowboy again without losing the top layer of skin on my cheeks.

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About CountryBoyCityGirl

A city girl who fell in love with a country boy. Found bliss, along with large piles of mule droppings for her and two little girls to now try to avoid.
This entry was posted in Life in the Country, This thing called marriage and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Buck Beard

  1. Ha Ha, yeah, some still go by that tradition. My father did the same. Keep the beared, you will get used to it.

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