When Riley first came to the farm, we somehow got caught up using euphemisms when talking about him…well…using the bathroom. I didn’t want to say “poop” all of the time, especially because I didn’t want the girls saying it just as often. Plus, “poo” the bodily stuff sounds just like “Pooh” the storybook character that I used to love as a kid so that didn’t seem right to say either.
[As an aside, I loved my Pooh bear so much as a kid that my Mom had to make a little jean vest to keep his stuffing inside him. He was like a little biker Pooh in that vest… Then, one year, the Santa miracle happened and he was back to be a perfect Pooh bear – with the exception of the chocolate ice cream stain above his right eye. That’s how I knew he was still MY Pooh bear. That Santa’s really cool.]
So we went with the “business” euphemism, as in “Riley, time to take care of your business.” That has quickly led to the girls and I making up a whole new way of looking at our yard and some “new additions” to our farm.
For example, we say that Riley often likes to do his light business in the “Conference Room” – the small 3′ by 8′ patch of lawn between the driveway and a hedge of roses. I’m not sure how the roses like those Conference Room meetings. I’m sure we’ll find out in a few months. We like that he goes in the Conference Room because we can stand in the garage while he works and stay warm/dry.
There are times when Riley goes into his “Cubical” to work. That’s the tiny patch of grass right next to the garage that has some large stones that make it look like a little room for him. It’s pretty tight (which accurately describes some of the cubicles in which I have worked). More often these last few weeks, he does his business in the “Corner Office,” the large space right around the corner of the garage where some raspberry bushes had once resided. Apparently that is him expressing his Alpha Dog role.
In the last few days, he’s wandered off into the main part of the yard for some of his light business if we aren’t paying attention. We call those client meetings. We’re trying to encourage him to keep those down to a minimum so our yard isn’t covered in brown spots.
When he needs to do his big business deals, Riley gets led over to the “Regional Office” – the strip of grass on the other side of the driveway opposite the house. We love the Regional Office – it keeps us from stepping into any of his “work.”
Speaking of work, my job is to “file his paperwork” as the girls remind me. I try to keep up with it daily, but sometimes Riley is just too quick with his deal making. The girls tried to help me keep up with it a few times but they insist that I’m the right person for that job.
Lucky me. Though I suppose it could be worse.
This weekend, the four of us took Riley for a walk on a local hiking trail. There were a few horses that were on the trail as well and one of them had done some “business” there. As we were walking by it, Zoe, noticing the pile on the ground, said in the cutest voice, “Wow, that guy must be a State Senator! Look at the business deals HE does!”
That made me happy to just be the Executive Assistant to Mr. Riley, Alpha Dog.
I’ll let the Country Boy handle the Chief of Staff role for the mules. Their business deals are way over my pay grade.